SO it is a new year, 2013!! 13 is my lucky number so this has got to be my year right? I mean last year I found out that I had a large tumor growing from my side that twitched like Woody Allen and had a secret obsession with horses who liked to knit. It almost suffucated me, it almost convinced me to change my name to faithless and use coffee filters instead of toilet paper.
Oh wait a minute that wasn't a tumor it was my ex husband.... No but really now that I got that little dig out of the way I can honestly say we are best friends now. Now that I can accept him for the souless, selfish bastard that he is we get along great!
No but seriously he gave me a gift that is priceless which is my true soulmate, my daughter D and for that I am forever grateful.
He did also give me ring worm, a tilted uterus and an an odd need to quote Hellen Keller.
SO in 2013 I made a promise to myself to forgive and move on not only for myself but for my daughter's sake. I even agreed to let my ex move in next door so we could both be available to little D. When I say NEXT Door I mean his door and our door are inches apart. Are you gasping in disbelief, are you wondering how we handle the issue of dating other people, possible late night booty calls and running into each other in the hallway when our precious girl isn't around?!!! Well it is fucking uncomfortable,trying and WEIRD. But a strange thing happened one day, my ex husband bought me a juicer.
I used that juicer every day religiously for 3 weeks and my mind and soul were being cleansed. With each vegetable or fruit peel I juiced, my layers of anger were being peeled away. In the end I found peace within me, for me, for "Woody"(my ex) and I was a new woman. SO my advice is do not hate thy neighbor do not, plot the death of your ex lover, simply buy yourself a juicer........
Oh wait a minute that wasn't a tumor it was my ex husband.... No but really now that I got that little dig out of the way I can honestly say we are best friends now. Now that I can accept him for the souless, selfish bastard that he is we get along great!
No but seriously he gave me a gift that is priceless which is my true soulmate, my daughter D and for that I am forever grateful.
He did also give me ring worm, a tilted uterus and an an odd need to quote Hellen Keller.
SO in 2013 I made a promise to myself to forgive and move on not only for myself but for my daughter's sake. I even agreed to let my ex move in next door so we could both be available to little D. When I say NEXT Door I mean his door and our door are inches apart. Are you gasping in disbelief, are you wondering how we handle the issue of dating other people, possible late night booty calls and running into each other in the hallway when our precious girl isn't around?!!! Well it is fucking uncomfortable,trying and WEIRD. But a strange thing happened one day, my ex husband bought me a juicer.
I used that juicer every day religiously for 3 weeks and my mind and soul were being cleansed. With each vegetable or fruit peel I juiced, my layers of anger were being peeled away. In the end I found peace within me, for me, for "Woody"(my ex) and I was a new woman. SO my advice is do not hate thy neighbor do not, plot the death of your ex lover, simply buy yourself a juicer........
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