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Showing posts from February, 2013

The Devil Bought Me a Juicer

SO it is a new year, 2013!! 13 is my lucky number so this has got to be my year right? I mean last year I found out that I had a large tumor growing from my side that twitched like Woody Allen and had a secret obsession with horses who liked to knit. It almost suffucated me, it almost convinced me to change my name to faithless and use coffee filters instead of toilet paper. Oh wait a minute that wasn't a tumor it was my ex husband.... No but really now that I got that little dig out of the way I can honestly say we are best friends now. Now that I can accept him for the souless, selfish bastard that he is we get along great! No but seriously he gave me a gift that is priceless which is my true soulmate, my daughter D and for that I am forever grateful. He did also give me ring worm, a tilted uterus and an an odd need to quote Hellen Keller . SO in 2013 I made a promise to myself to forgive and move on not only for myself but for my daughter's sake. I even agreed to